Surrendering Your Prayer Life to God’s Process
Surrendering Your Prayer Life to God’s Process
By Jennifer Kennedy Dean
Almost 40 years ago, when the Lord fully captured my heart and redefined prayer for me, He showed me that we don’t have a prayer life—rather, we live a praying life.
Prayer is more than sandwiching words between Dear God and Amen, hoping we say the words correctly and put them in the right order. Prayer is living in the flow of His power and provision.
A praying life makes our prayer all one piece, ongoing from one circumstance to the next. Instead of separating into “prayers”—first for this, then for that—we can consider all our interactions with God as one flowing river of prayer. An undercurrent of prayer carries every detail of our lives into the stream of His good and perfect plan. Sometimes words, sometimes sighs, sometimes groans, sometimes unnamed longing. It all rises before Him as if we had articulated it perfectly.
Redefining Answers and Desires
In the context of a praying life—through prayer and its answer—God gives us the desires of our hearts. He never, ever withholds from us those desires. Once we learn to see the current of prayer in operation, we will see the answers to our prayers differently. What we once saw as a no, we will redefine as a higher yes.
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lordand he will give you the desires of your heart.” During the process of prayer, this truth takes on its richest, deepest meaning.
First, we find that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, He becomes the desire of our hearts. The word translated delight comes from a Hebrew root word that means “soft, moldable, or pliable.” When we delight ourselves in the Lord, we become pliable and moldable in His hands. He fashions a heart like His. He is able to create desires that match His will. In fact, Paul writes, “It is God who works in you to will . . . his good purpose” (Phil. 2:13).
Second, we realize that we cannot know the desire of our hearts unless we know the heart of our desires. Usually, what we might call “the desire of our hearts” is really a secondary desire orbiting around the true desire. Usually, what we think we desire is really the way we have imagined the true desire will be met. If I just had this. If that would stop. If this would start.
Sometimes, when we think we are asking for the desire of our hearts, we are really asking for the desire of the moment. Often, in order to give us the desire of our hearts, God will withhold the desire of the moment. He only says no as a prelude to a higher yes. When we give Him time—give Him access—He can peel back the desire of the moment and show us the desire of our hearts. And for that desire, there will always be a resounding yes from heaven.
God’s True Desire
I remember when I began to learn this concept. I was leading a conference in New Mexico, and my body encountered unfamiliar allergens against which it rebelled. My voice got raspier and raspier as the conference went on. By the time I finished the conference, I had no voice at all.
The next morning, on a flight to Kentucky, where I was to lead another conference, I prayed, “Oh, God, give me back my voice.”
The Lord asked me, “Why do you want your voice?”
I answered, “So I can lead this conference.”
“Why do you want to lead the conference?”
“So that people can learn how to live in Your power.”
“Why do you want people to live in My power?”
“So You can glorify Yourself.”
“Then, Jennifer,” He seemed to say, “ask Me for that.”
And my prayer became, “Father, glorify Yourself.”
The tension left me. My soul rested. I did not know how God would answer my prayer, but I knew that He would answer my prayer. He helped me discover the desire of my heart and relinquish the desire of the moment.
Paul’s Thorny Request
Paul, I think, had a similar experience. What was his request in 2 Corinthians 12:7–10? Verses 7 and 8 describe his pleading prayer to God: “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.”
So, his specific request was, “Lord, remove the thorn in my flesh.”
Is it possible that God and Paul had a conversation similar to the one of my own I just described?
Might God have said, “Paul, why do you want the thorn in your flesh removed?” To which Paul may have answered, “So I can proclaim Christ to the world.”
“Why do you want to proclaim Christ to the world?”
“So everyone can come to a saving knowledge of the Messiah.”
“And why . . . .”
The conversation may have continued until Paul said, “So everyone can see that Your grace is sufficient.”
To which God would say, “That will require a thorn in your flesh.”
Did God say no to that specific request—the desire of the moment? He did. He said no so that He could say the higher yes.
What was the heart of Paul’s desire? In other words, why did he want the thorn in his flesh removed? What was Paul’s true heart’s desire? More than anything else Paul wanted to know Christ. (See Phil. 3:7–11.)
So although God said no to Paul’s specific request, He said yes to the desire of Paul’s heart.
Paul stated his prayer in words that expressed the desire of the moment—to be rid of the thorn in his flesh that seemed to hinder his work. But the wonderful Father heard the cry of Paul’s heart: to know Him fully—both in the power of His resurrection and in the fellowship of His suffering—and to be conformed to His image.
In order to give Paul the desire of his heart, God had to withhold the desire of the moment.
All in Due Time
Give God time—give Him access—so that He can peel back the desire of the moment and show you the desire of your heart.
What looks like a no is really a yes in disguise. If you are crying out for bread, He will not give you a stone (Matt. 7:9). He will not give you something that only resembles your true desire. He will not give you something just to pacify you. He will give you your true heart’s desire in order to satisfy you. God never says no to that desire of your heart.
As you surrender yourself to the process of prayer, let Him have so much access to you that He is able to clear away all the secondary desires. Let Him crystallize for you and bring to the forefront the one overriding desire—to have more of Him.
“But as for me, the nearness of God is my good” (Ps. 73:28, NASB).
Jennifer Kennedy Dean is executive director of The Praying Life Foundation (prayinglife.org) and the author of numerous books, studies, and magazine articles specializing in prayer and spiritual formation. This article is based on her book Live a Praying Life.
