The Power of a Father’s Prayer - Church Prayer Leaders Network

Blessing Your Children in God-given Authority

By Ekei Joy Okafor

About a year ago my husband and I discovered that our young adult son had derailed in his college academic studies and struggled to stay focused. After probing, we learned that he attributed his behavior to his father’s absence during his formative years. He felt abandoned and insisted his father had no right to come back into his life and try to be “Dad.” He said he wouldn’t even stay under the same roof with him.

A similar conflict had come up previously. At that time my husband apologized for any ill effects he might have had on our son. We thought the two of them resolved things, so we were shocked when he brought everything up again. In response, I felt broken and devastated, but my husband took action: strategic prayer.

He began interceding fervently for the return of our son and for a renewed relationship. He prayed that our son would once again recognize him as his father. He asked the Holy Spirit to fill our son’s heart and set him back on the right path. He prayed with belief that our son would return to right thinking. In strategic warfare, my husband rebuked the devil and his stronghold over our son’s life.

To my shock, less than a week after declaring he would not stay under the same roof, our son invited his dad for a heart-to-heart talk. He apologized for his behavior, and his father offered a blessing over him. Our son has since returned to school, and we’ve watched him grow in his relationship with his father—and with God.

The Calling of a Father

Some men do not take their fatherly roles seriously. Perhaps they’re exhausted from career responsibilities, perhaps they have misconceptions about the importance of fatherhood, or perhaps they simply lack interest.

But God calls a father to be a shepherd over his home—to love his wife and manage his children well. He sets a high standard for leaders in the church, but it is also consistent for the role of a father in his own household (1 Tim. 3:2–5). Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son demonstrates that God calls fathers to unconditional love (Luke 15:20–24). Most importantly, God calls fathers to lead the family in the ways of the Lord (Gen. 18:19) and teach their children about Christ (Eph. 6:4).

When a father prays, he has a unique, God-given role in the lives of his children. Here are some ways that a father’s prayer makes a difference:

1. A father’s prayer is authoritative and filled with power. Fathers have a responsibility to pray with confidence because they represent the love of God the Father in their families. God calls fathers to establish their households as places that honor God. With this comes both the authority and power to bless their children and establish truths for generations to come. God said this about the father’s role in Deuteronomy 6:6–9:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

A household filled with a father’s prayer—and teaching of God’s truths—is the best hope for a child’s future.

2. A father’s prayer is prophetic. Whatever a father speaks over his child carries a destiny with it—for good or for bad. Children are likely to embrace and believe the truths their father prays and declares over them. A father can envision a future for his children and intercede for that prophetic fulfillment.

When Jacob was nearing the end of his life, he asked to bless the children of his son Joseph (Gen. 48). As Joseph brought the two boys before him, Jacob crossed his arms and placed his right hand on the head of the younger Ephraim instead of Manasseh, the elder son. Joseph took it for a mistake. But Jacob understood what he was doing. Jacob’s prophetic prayer set forth the destiny for Ephraim to fulfill a role greater than Manasseh. Jacob then blessed Joseph and his sons with this prayer:

“May the God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked faithfully, the God who has been my shepherd  all my life to this day, the Angel who has delivered me from all harm—may he bless these boys. May they be called by my name and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and may they increase greatly on the earth” (vv. 15–16).

3. A father’s prayer blesses. The prayers of the righteous father carry with them blessings that transcend generations. Psalm 112:1–2 says, “Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.”

Even when a child is rebellious, fathers need to bless and not curse. One day our son stumbled upon his dad’s written prayer request over him and something broke inside him. The realization that his dad loved him took away our son’s determination to keep fighting. The Holy Spirit’s conviction, through that note, brought him peace.

Ways to Speak and Pray

Fathers, your prayers do not need to be formal. They do not need to follow exact formulas. But here are some ways to pray for your children, and interact with them, that will demonstrate your heavenly Father’s heart:

Always speak hope and positivity in love. At times your children will make you angry, especially when they act contrary to your expectations. You might want to “growl and bark” at them. But, instead, pray first and then offer gentle words, spoken in love, that turn away wrath (Prov. 15:1). Demonstrate to your children, through your words, how much you love them.
Let your children hear you pray and say uplifting words of hope about them. Don’t remind them repeatedly of their mistakes. Sometimes we are tempted to say, “Look what you’ve done to yourself. You’ll never amount to anything.” But, instead, stop and say, “I know God can and will restore you because He loves you. He will give you a new beginning. Your end is great because you have a ‘goodly heritage’” (see Ps. 16:6, kjv). Such scriptural prayers and truths will fill your children with hope and help them make a life change.
Continue your prayers even when you don’t see immediate answers. Pray with expectation that you will see God move, no matter how long it takes. It took my husband five years to pray his son’s heart fully back to him. My husband gave thanks to God knowing that Malachi 4:6 had been fulfilled in our family: “He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents.”
Pray for the protection of your children and bless them regularly. Birthdays, new school terms, weddings, new jobs, a new year, and other occasions provide opportunities for prayers and fatherly blessings. Affirm Scriptures over your children and declare what you want for them. For example, on birthdays, you can pray, “Happy birthday, child. May God bless and keep you throughout this new age you have reached and grant you wisdom. I call you blessed, and no one can curse you. In everything you set your heart to do this year, may you have great successes.”
Declare positive affirmations over your children. When I was growing up, my dad called me his river of hope. Whenever I had exams or milestones to achieve, he would cheer me up with the words, “A river of hope lacks no fish.” I didn’t fully understand, but I worked extra hard not to dash his hopes. The words that fathers speak over their children are powerful.
Pray with your children. When they discuss their challenges with you, pray with them. Continue praying until they get answers. Demonstrate often that you are with them.

Establish Prayer Habits

Fathers are crucial in leading their families in prayer. Here are some ways to build family prayer habits:

Establish prayer times. Choose a convenient time and encourage everyone to prioritize gathering for family devotions. Establish a time frame that is comfortable for your family—from 30 minutes to an hour.
Take the lead. Be prepared to instruct your family how to pray and interact with each other.
Establish patterns that teach your children how to pray. Include things like prayers of praise, praying God’s Word, and interceding for others.
Lead your children in praying for each other. Take time to pray over each child and encourage him or her to respond with an Amen.
Demonstrate personal prayer time. Take seriously your responsibility to pray for your children. Make a list of ways to pray for their character traits, likes and dislikes, and scriptural destinies.
Ask God for insight to pray in unique ways for each of your children.

As you continue steadfastly in prayer as a father, it will become a habit. Use your spiritual authority and the power of prayer to set your children on the straight path according to God’s purposes for their lives. And trust God to help them continue to grow in their relationship with you, as a father, and with their Father God.

EKEI JOY OKAFOR is a freelance writer specializing in health and fitness. She also teaches children and teens in her church. You can find her on Twitter, LinkedIn, and her website daraswritermom.com.