Children need to find their own way in the world. Unfortunately, sometimes they believe that means they need to reject our values or even us. Things can get tense at home or on the phone when wayward children call or we call them. Because our kids know that we are hurt and disappointed by their disobedience, they may begin to believe we really don’t love them. They may also choose to deny our love as a way to rationalize their rebellion.

How can we let prodigal children know they are loved? One way is to keep a separate journal of our prayers for each of our children. If we share with prodigals these prayers written during their growing years (before they hit the rebellious stage), we can communicate the depth and longevity of our love.

But what if you never kept special prayer journals for your children? Start now, in the midst of their rebellion. Don’t focus your written prayers on their sins. Instead, choose to focus on the character qualities you want to see God develop in their lives. Bring before God the unique traits and gifts your child possesses, and ask Him to use those in your child’s life right now to bless others and to draw the prodigal to Himself.

You may find that a journal with inspirational quotes or verses already printed on the pages can help you focus your prayers in various areas, avoiding repetition of the same requests over and over. Be sure your prayers aren’t thinly disguised sermons or rantings at your child. Those will only drive the wayward one further from you and the Lord.

As the journal begins to fill, pray for a teachable time to present your child with the completed journal. It may be a special day—a birthday, Thanksgiving, or Christmas—that normally turns hearts toward home. When you feel the time is right, decide what you’re going to say. Depending on how strained the relationship is, it may be best to write your thoughts in a note. Don’t communicate any expectations of change or repentance. Kids will sense right away when the ulterior motive of a “gift” is to make them feel guilty. Your only goal should be to let your child see your love and that you believe his or her life has value, now and in the future.

Our prodigals may choose to reject us and even destroy the journals. That’s a personal choice. Don’t worry. Our prayers are never wasted, and our children will still know that we cared enough to bring their lives before God. Someday that thought may draw them back to both their earthly parents and their heavenly Father.

—Carol R. Cool

(C) 2013 Prayer Connect magazine.